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djbombsquad

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I just got done shooting and editing directing etc with a AD from san diego and I wanted to know peoples opinion on this. My goal is to reinvest the winnings to get the red camera. It was the youtube heinz contest.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ophbWdbiccY
Currently there is a issue as to it being on the heinz section which should be sorted out. Feed back would be great as I am learning and any thing to make me improve. I saw most the videos there and seems to me that me and my friend were doing this as a serious project vs just a CONTEST. I want to add this to my resumé if it wins. I covered all 3 categories which is
(#1) Originality (40%)
(#2) Overall Appeal (30%)
(#3) Likelihood to Motivate People to Eat Heinz Ketchup (30%)


We did not use any of the footage that heinz provided as that I believe would not give me points for #1 which is Originality. I think #2 we hit with punch lines and #3 we made it clear that Heinz is the choice people want.
Please give me as much feed back.
 
Why is Heinz innovative and fresh?
Who calls the generic rotten?
What does voting for heinz in 08 mean?
Who's the snarky ***** representing Heinz? Why do I want to trust her with anything? The generic is far more approachable and likeable.
Applause sound > enthusiasm of crowd.

The first line is:
"My opponents have run a smear campaign" which usually has the connotation that they're lieing and manufacturing false information. The second line is.... a smear campaign. This immediately robs the reporter of all objectivity and frames her as nothing more than a political shill out working for heinz.

Why does a political candidate come up to the podium, announce that the opponent is using dirty tactics and then immediately begin taking questions, aren't they going to first explain how great they are and then take questions afterwords?

-- You say toemaetoe I say Toemahtoe
-- But heinz is innovative and fresh

Why is she saying "but"? But is short hand for disagreement. Is she disagreeing that one person pronounces tomato differently? If you want to convey that she's ignoring the response to her question as jibberish then consider adding an agreement. "Yes, but..."

If you break down the talking points it comes out to be:

Generic: People are spreading lies about me!
Heinz Shill: You are rotten!
Generic: Jibberish
Heinz Shill: Whatever, Heinz is awesome!
Generic: I can be awesome too!
Heinz Shill: Ewww Old Lesbian
Generic: It was all a misunderstanding! I'm senile and old!
Heinz Shill: Sure glad I already had my mind made up before even asking a question! No convincing necessary!

You need to provide reasons why Heinz is superior. The generic needs to embarass itself on its own without someone provoking it. The audience's connection needs to be someone they can like and identify with. Your reporter is not fulfilling this roll because she's obviously a corporate shill. If a neutral third party were to vote for Heinz (whatever that means.. does that mean voting for Kerry?) then I might go along with it because they're someone I can trust.

You're burning a lot of precious seconds with the smear campaign subplot, it advances nothing favorable to Heinz. Same with "you say tomaeto I say tomahto" and use your audience more. That's who we care about.
 
What Gavin said...

The "I'm voting for Heinz in '08" lady isn't likable, she's condescending, she rolls her eyes and shakes her head in a negative manner... The "generic lady" is saucy and fun. Seriously, you should have reversed the Heinz and Generic roles and put a Heinz bottle costume on the lady at the podium. Tweak the dialogue a bit and there's your ad spot. The funny Heinz bottle would have the same attitude, with a fun, lively answer to any question thrown at her. Don't even mention a negative or smear campaign in the dialogue, it's irrelevant, use that brief moment of time for something more constructive. Maybe find a way to out the annoying lady asking questions as a generic ketchup or competitor brand.

All water under the bridge now though, as I suppose there's no going back or doing a new one.

How is ketchup innovative?
 
to me, the actress of the journalist is doing too much overacting. Besides that I accede with Walt's points.

BTW, McDonald's or Kraft's Ketchup have their own qualitites.

Edit: To add to Jeff's words, what about using two bottles? Heinz and the generic one? Ads, so far let people present products. What if letting the product speak for itself (latest example for this I've seen is a series of spots for subway where a muppets-like sandwich is the central role)

http://www.lommelludwig.de/movie2.html - only in german
 
to me, the actress of the journalist is doing too much overacting.

I kinda thought that too... She has all the acting finesse of a porn set extra. ...That was kinda rude, but that's one of the first things that popped into my mind on my first viewing. But even with overacting, she still could have come across in a positive and likable way, but she doesn't. For this type of production a little bit of cheesy overacting never hurt. :biggrin:
 
Heinz Shill: Ewww Old Lesbian

Lesbian ketchup.... What will they think of next?

But I do have to ask, if I put it on my deluxe cheeseburger, will the flavor still mingle alright with the pickles?
 
Well 1st I only had 30 seconds so I had to chop 2 min 30 seconds of footage down to 30 seconds. My boss had forgoten that the contest was a 30 second contest so we did not have any time to re write the script.
I am glad you guys are giving me constrictive criticism. I can't re shoot as my funding is out for flying the ladys out from NY. I am in CA. Plus when I saw the other videos most used again as I said before we did not use any of the footage that heinz provided which follows under catagory 1 for the 40% mark. Most footage people shot was pearly just to have fun. If I was to get rated for (#1) Originality (40%)
(#2) Overall Appeal (30%)
(#3) Likelihood to Motivate People to Eat Heinz Ketchup (30%)
Can you rate me. My goal was to be just a slight better than the rest of the contestants.
 
Yeah, I didn't get the whole concept that this was generic ketchup.
We never even see a bottle of Heinz, or a Heinz logo in the spot, which I'm sure is an advertising no no. (not to show your product)
Not sure what you can do about it now though.

I guess I thought going in "Heinz Ketchup", so assumed the first ketchup I saw was supposed to be Heinz. And then I was wondering, "Why is the nice bottle of Heinz being attacked by that snotty reporter?"
 
Dear DJBS (sorry, didn't find your real name),
please (please!) don't be offended by my former and this statement. But in my personal rating that spot simply doesn't work well.
I think that cut-down to 30s may have contributed to the damage, but really it looks too chumming up in favor of Heinz - I know that most of all spots do so, but overall it's a better idea to let consumers get interested and attracted by a product rather than trying to push them into it.
A rating by us would be too diffuse and useless for you anyways since it won't help you to pick out the weak points.
 
I am glad the board is letting me know this. Yes the 30 seconds did totally mess us up but regardless. At the looks of the other videos ( I did look at over 300 of them )though I think ours at least covers all 3 judging categories and even if each category does not meet the 40% 30% 30% All I have to get is above 30% 20% and 20% and I should be good. I broke it down to a science. Over half the people used the directors tools which http://www.topthistv.com/tools.aspx can be found here. That to me takes away from the 40%. That alone should take away from others competing in this.
 
(#1) Originality (40%)
(#2) Overall Appeal (30%)
(#3) Likelihood to Motivate People to Eat Heinz Ketchup (30%)
Can you rate me. My goal was to be just a slight better than the rest of the contestants.

#1) 50/100 *.4 = 20%
#2) 30/100 *.3 = 09%
#3) 20/100 *.3 = 06%
------------------------
35%
 
LMAO that Gavin was brave enough to actually critique this thing. :)
 
Don't worry, all my criticism is entirely constructive and said with love. :biggrin:

Anyway, looking at it from the point of view of an ad exec, I would choose the old guy singing about Heinz in the diner. It's annoying, but I only viewed it once and the whole thing is still in my brain several minutes later without trying to remember it. And that's 30 seconds of air time with the product filling half of the screen. In your ad, Other than the shilling reporter lady saying "Heinz" twice, there's no indication it has anything to do with Heinz ketchup at all. Except for the dissolve to the Heinz logo at the end. But as soon as it's in at 100%, bam - off to the next ad spot, hope the network doesn't cut it short.

Did I understand you right... You flew talent from NY to CA and shot less than 3 minutes of footage??? :blink:
 
Haha I like the old singing guy. That song is catchy. "MMmmm!" Banjo + Heinz just seems like a perfect mix it gives gravitas and age to the heinz brand. If some old dude is willing to shell out money for name brand ketchup then there must be something to it. I bet he washes and reuses ziplock bags.

#1) 70/100 *.4 = 28%
#2) 50/100 *.3 = 15%
#3) 75/100 *.3 = 22.5%
------------------------
65.5%
 
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