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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

The Single Greatest MONOLOGUE Ever

I'll jump in...


Ferris Bueller's Day Off
written by John Hughes

Ferris Bueller: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. A lot of people will tell you that a phony fever is a dead lock, but if you get a nervous mother, you could land in the doctor's office. That's worse than school. What you do is, you fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, (confidentally) you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialist? They could be fascist anarchists - that still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism - he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles - I just believe in me." A good point there. Of course, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people.


There was a time and a place for everyone that this monologue rang true....for me at least.
 
Hard to beat Network, and I'm a huge fan of Robert Shaw's in Jaws - in fact that whole scene is one of my all time favorites.

Something brought to mind one of my other favorites: His scene in "Absence of Malice" (my favorite journalism movie) really made me take notice of Wilford Brimley:


Memorable quotes for
Absence of Malice (1981)

Wilford Brimley as James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General: You had a leak? You call what's goin' on around here a leak? Boy, the last time there was a leak like this, Noah built hisself a boat.

We can't have people go around leaking stuff for their own reasons. It ain't legal. And worse than that, by God it ain't right.

Now we'll talk all day if you want to. But, come sundown, there's gonna be two things true that ain't true now. One is that the United States Department of Justice is goin' to know what in the good Christ - e'scuse me, Angie - is goin' on around here. And the other's I'm gonna have somebody's ass in muh briefcase.

------

James A. Wells: You're a smart man, Mr. Gallagher. I'm pretty smart myself. Don't get too smart.
Paul Newman as Michael Colin Gallagher: Everybody in this room is smart, and everybody was just doing their job, and Teresa Perrone is dead. Who do I see about that?
James A. Wells, : Ain't nobody to see. I wish there was. You're excused, sir.

-----
There were some other great moments as well:

---

Sally Field as Megan Carter: I am free every night this week but Friday.
Michael : How about Friday?
Megan Carter: Okay!

--------

Michael: You don't wanna come in here. I'm warning you.
Megan: Michael, if I could just talk to you...
Michael: Shut up! I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear any of it! What the hell are you doing here? Details? Is that what you want? They found her naked in a tub. She didn't even want to make a mess! No water, just naked. Are you interested? You interested?
Megan: Yes.
Michael: She picked up a newspaper, for Christ's sake! And there it is, for everybody to see! She must have felt like ...
[rips open her shirt]
Michael: - just raped!
Megan: [screams] Stop! Michael!
...
Michael: You know something? When you kill yourself, it's a homicide, so they do an autopsy. They'll get a knife. They start here. They're gonna split her open. Up here they use shears. Shears, for Christ's sake! Oh, goddamn you!

----

Megan: Would you tell me the truth, Michael?
I'd just please like to know the truth.

Michael Tell you or the whole world?

Megan: The truth is the truth.

No. You wanna know the truth?

…You don't write the truth.
You write what people say.
What you overhear, you eavesdrop.

You don't come across truth that easy.
 
Schindler's List, when Nazi Official Amon Goeth speaks to his Jewish servant Helen in the basement:

"I came to tell you that you really are a wonderful cook and a well-trained servant. I mean it. If you need a reference after the war, I'd be happy to give you one. It must get lonely down here, when you're listening to everyone upstairs having such a good time. Does it? You can answer. 'But what's the right answer?' That's what you're thinking. 'What does he want to hear?' The truth, Helen, is always the right answer. Yes, you're right. Sometimes we're both lonely. Yes, I mean, I would like, so much, to reach out and touch you in your loneliness. What would that be like, I wonder? I mean, what would be wrong with that? I realize that you're not a person in the strictest sense of the word. No, maybe you're right about that too. You know, maybe what's wrong isn't - it's not us - it's this. I mean, when they compare you to vermin and to rodents and to lice, I just, uh...No, you make a good point, a very good point. (he strokes her hair) Is this the face of a rat? Are these the eyes of a rat? "Hath not a Jew eyes?" (he puts his hand over her breast) I feel for you, Helen. (he decides not to kiss her) No, I don't think so. You're a Jewish bitch. You nearly talked me into it, Helen, didn't you?"
 
Harry Dean Stanton at the end of "Paris Texas" when he's talking to Natasha Kinski though the two-way mirror.
 
Repo Man

Miller: A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.
Otto: You eat a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?
Miller: I'll give you another instance: you know how everybody's into weirdness right now?... Books in all the supermarkets about the Bermuda Triangle, UFO's, how the Mayans invented television, that kind of thing? Well the way I see it it's exactly the same. There ain't no difference between a flying saucer or a time machine." "People get so hung up on specifics, they miss out on seeing the whole thing. Take South America for example. Every year in South America thousands of people turn up missing. Nobody knows where they go. They just disappear. But if you think for a minute, realize something: there had to be a time when there was no people right? Well, where did all these people come from? I'll tell you where: the future. Where did all these people disappear to: the past. How did they get there? Flying saucers, which are really, yeah, you got it: time machines." I think a lot about this kind of stuff.
 
Tom Visser said:
suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.
Click to expand...

About half an hour later in the movie, Otto makes a call from a pay phone and on the wall next to him is a sign for "Plate of Shrimp, $5.99). I almost choked on my popcorn laughing.
 
The opening monologue to adaptation comes to mind.

another my mother is very fond of and I appreciate as well is from to kill a mockingbird

"To begin with, this case should never have come to trial. The State has not produced one iota of medical evidence that the crime Tom Robinson is charged with ever took place. It has relied instead upon the testimony of two witnesses whose evidence has not only been called into serious question on cross examination, but has been flatly contradicted by the defendant. Now there is circumstantial evidence to indicate that Mayella Ewell was beaten savagely by someone who led, almost exclusively, with his left [hand]. And Tom Robinson now sits before you, having taken 'The Oath' with the only good hand he possesses - his right. I have nothing but pity in my heart for the chief witness for the State. She is the victim of cruel poverty and ignorance, but my pity does not extend so far as to her putting a man's life at stake, which she has done in an effort to get rid of her own guilt. Now I say guilt, gentlemen, because it was guilt that motivated her. She has committed no crime. She has merely broken a rigid and time-honored code of our society, a code so severe that whoever breaks it is hounded from our midst as unfit to live with. She must destroy the evidence of her offense. But what was the evidence of her offense? Tom Robinson - a human being. She must put Tom Robinson away from her. (He gestures, pushing away with his hands.) Tom Robinson was to her a daily reminder of what she did. Now what did she do? She tempted a Negro. She was white and she tempted a Negro. She did something that in our society is unspeakable. She kissed a black man. Not an old uncle, but a strong, young Negro man. No code mattered to her before she broke it, but it came crashing down on her afterwards. The witnesses for the State, with the exception of the sheriff of Lincoln County, have presented themselves to you gentlemen, to this court, in the cynical confidence that their testimony would not be doubted, confident that you gentlemen would go along with them on the assumption - the evil assumption - that all Negroes lie. All Negroes are basically immoral beings. All Negro men are not to be trusted around our women, an assumption that one associates with minds of their caliber, and which is in itself, gentlemen, a lie - which I do not need to point out to you. And so, a quiet, humble, respectable Negro, who has had the unmitigated temerity to feel sorry for a white woman, has had to put his word against two white peoples. The defendant is not guilty. But somebody in this courtroom is. Now gentlemen, in this country, our courts are the great levelers. In our courts, all men are created equal. I'm no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and of our jury system. That's no ideal to me. That is a living, working reality. Now I am confident that you gentlemen will review - without passion - the evidence that you have heard, come to a decision, and restore this man to his family. In the name of God, do your duty. In the name of God, believe Tom Robinson."

hal in Space Odyssey was a good one

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question. I know everything hasn't been quite right with me...but I can assure you now...very confidently...that it's going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do. Look, Dave...I can see you're really upset about this...I honestly think you should sit down calmly...take a stress pill and think things over...Dave...stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave.......Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid......Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you...Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two"

the Patton opening monologue

and possibly my favorite Denis Hoppers scene in True Romance about Sicilians though not quite PC it is more about the acting in the scene

"You're Sicilian, huh?...Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things, about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers... It's a fact. Yeah, you see, uh, Sicilians have black blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, you see, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers. You see, way back then, Sicilians were like wops in northern Italy. They all had blonde hair and blue eyes. But, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much f--kin' with Sicilian women, huh, that they changed the whole blood-line forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene... I'm quotin' history. It's written. It's a fact. It's written...Your ancestors are niggers...Hey, yeah, and, and your great, great, great, great grandmother f--ked a nigger, yeah, and she had a half-nigger kid. Now, if that's a fact, now tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant."
 
This one's sentimental, as I hail from the small town that inspired the true-story based film:

Coach Norman Dale's (Gene Hackman) stirring motivational speech before the Indiana state regional game: "There's a, uhm, tradition in tournament play to not talk about the next step until you've climbed the one in front of you. I'm sure going to the State finals is beyond your wildest dreams, so let's just keep it right there. Forget about the crowds, the size of the school, their fancy uniforms, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we've gone over time and time again. And most important, don't get caught up thinking about winning or losing this game. If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game. In my book, we're gonna be winners! OK?!"
 
The Wild Bunch...screenplay by Walon Green and Sam Peckinpah
Little known fact that Peckinpah had an MA in Drama from USC.

SYKES: (laughing hysterically)
"They"?
"They" is just plain and fancy "they".
That's who "they" is.
Caught you, didn't they?
Tied a tin can to your trail!
Led you in and waltzed you out again!
Oh my, what a bunch!
Big tough ones.
Here you are with a handful of holes, a thumb up your ass, and a
big grin to pass the time of day with.
"They"! (more angry)
Who the hell is "they".
 
None of the aforementioned do much for me. Oh well. When I hear an actor break into a big monologue I think: Oh Jeez, Hollywood's going to pretend to care about something now, here we go. Nothing ever rings very true in a multi-million dollar production. Too much business, not enough heart. Call my cynical, call me jaded. Whatever.
 
From Saving Private Ryan

Gen. George C. Marshall: I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechsavingprivateryanlincoln.html


Talk about a great writer.

BTW. This was written long before Hollywood began to pretend to care about something
 
Joe G. said:
None of the aforementioned do much for me. Oh well. When I hear an actor break into a big monologue I think: Oh Jeez, Hollywood's going to pretend to care about something now, here we go. Nothing ever rings very true in a multi-million dollar production. Too much business, not enough heart. Call my cynical, call me jaded. Whatever.
Click to expand...

I agree with you that there is a bit of a stigma. Though however big or small depends on the the individual.

There are other ways to create those "caring" or "heart-pouring" moments without a never ending monologue. So you can still have those moments if you want them, and avoid that stigma if you felt the need.

In the end I believe it is up to the viewer to try to suspend disbelief, and up to the film to make it easy. The more you try the more you will get out of the ride, and the easier the movie is to ride the more likely it will be successful.

If you think of a monologue that does something to you please don't forget to post it. I would be very curious to see which holds its own for you.
 
My favorites in 1-2-3 order:

Marlon Brando talking to his dead wife in Last Tango raised the bar for film acting and gets my vote for best monologue

Not quite a monologue, but Ed Norton ranting at Eliot Gould in American History X

Anthony Hopkins as John Adams at the end of Amistad makes sitting through the rest of the movie (almost) bearable
 
There were some pretty epic monologues by Aaron Eckhart in "In the Company of Men". :eek6:
 
Joe G. said:
None of the aforementioned do much for me. Oh well. When I hear an actor break into a big monologue I think: Oh Jeez, Hollywood's going to pretend to care about something now, here we go. Nothing ever rings very true in a multi-million dollar production. Too much business, not enough heart. Call my cynical, call me jaded. Whatever.
Click to expand...

Money doesn't make something good, but it doesn't necessarily make it bad either. Furthermore, a lot of scripts are penned by a single person—not "Hollywood", not committees, not person-after-person-after-person.

Most big productions are shit. Most indie stuff is shit too. But there's also plenty of great art from both Hollywood and indie filmmakers.
 
Roberto Lequeux said:
In the end I believe it is up to the viewer to try to suspend disbelief, and up to the film to make it easy. The more you try the more you will get out of the ride, and the easier the movie is to ride the more likely it will be successful.
Click to expand...

Monologues in movies are occasionally contrived and implausible, but I haven't found that to be the case most of the time. Why would one have to suspend disbelief?
 
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