Short Scene - Shot With Scarlet-

[jan meric]

Hello,

Its been a while I haven't post anything here, Ive decided to take the old lady for a ride, shot this with 3 light @800 watts, edited in PPcc, color in davinci Resolve. Let me know what you guys think? Good or bad don't matter I need to know. Please watch it in HD.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQRwi8qdvvY

 

[jan meric]

no comments?

 

[John Hale]

Looks cool man.

 

[Les Hillis]

The sound is a lot better now than in the earlier unfinished version of this scene I remember seeing.

I like how consistent and deliberate the lighting and colour grading looks, even though I don't actually like the colour palette or overall look itself that much.

There were a few out of focus moments that I felt couldn't just be written off as part of a 'style'. They just seemed like mistakes and gave the piece a careless feel even when they weren't so obvious as to be irritating.

Which ties in with my basic problem with the way the scene was covered. That's partly due to my personal dislike of the hand-held look when it's used in narrative drama's. But I kept finding myself looking for reaction shots that just weren't there, and found the overall edit a bit off somehow. Despite an effort to change the framing to keep things interesting, it still felt a bit repetitive to me and I got the feeling the emphasis wasn't always placed where it should be.

I think this in turn might be related to the self-contained nature of the way the whole scene was played out. It had the feel of a set-piece, where the guy walks in, they cover their bases, then the guy leaves again. It creates an episodic, plodding kind of narrative, rather than one that's made up of scenes that get put together in the viewers own mind. Basically, we didn't need to see the guy arrive, or even leave. 'Arriving late and leaving early' instead would have given the actors and characters a different way to interact in the scene, which could have also influenced how the scene was covered. And if that had been the aim from the outset, the writing of the scene itself would have been different too, so...

What I'm saying is, and it's just my opinion so take it all with a grain of salt, I thought the whole thing worked well enough, for what it was. It looks to me like you achieved what you set out to achieve. But, looking at it purely as 'the scene where the guy asks his friend to throw a fight', is that all it could have been, or all that you want it to be? I don't know.

 

[jan meric]

ok then, it is appreciated, one can only get better from the mistakes he makes.

 

[Will Keir]

Jan,

You can frame the "fighters" bits, just seems needs to be raised up on the screen.

Keep going man...

no comments?

 

[jan meric]

Jan,

You can frame the "fighters" bits, just seems needs to be raised up on the screen.

Keep going man...

I realized that, I brought it up but you are right needed a bit more.

thanks

 

[Bob Gundu]

Hey Jan. I'm assuming this was just an exercise and not a scene from something bigger? In any case, it a good exercise to do as you can learn a lot from it. I'll start by saying the sound was pretty good. Its not easy getting decent sound in such a small room. The acting didn't do it for me. But I'll focus on the technical aspects as the acting and dialogue is a whole other discussion. As well as the setting, as it wasn't a realistic location for the scene.

I'll start with the lighting, the opening shot was the best from your short. The rest was pretty flat for a dramatic piece. The scene could have even edgy with a hanging bulb for a one light. The blocking needed to be be more dynamic. The tone which starts off light hearted should have been reflected in the blocking. Its a small room so you have to get creative. After dropping the bomb about throwing the fight could have been reflected in the characters sitting down, or perhaps pushed against the wall. Its supposed to be a tense scene, make it tense. A shot from the outside looking into the basement would have been a nice addition too. Framing... way too much head space on the boxer. Don't be afraid to give him a haircut.

Bravo on shooting this kind of stuff. Its really the only way to learn IMHO. Keep it up!

 

[jan meric]

Hey Jan. I'm assuming this was just an exercise and not a scene from something bigger? In any case, it a good exercise to do as you can learn a lot from it. I'll start by saying the sound was pretty good. Its not easy getting decent sound in such a small room. The acting didn't do it for me. But I'll focus on the technical aspects as the acting and dialogue is a whole other discussion. As well as the setting, as it wasn't a realistic location for the scene.

I'll start with the lighting, the opening shot was the best from your short. The rest was pretty flat for a dramatic piece. The scene could have even edgy with a hanging bulb for a one light. The blocking needed to be be more dynamic. The tone which starts off light hearted should have been reflected in the blocking. Its a small room so you have to get creative. After dropping the bomb about throwing the fight could have been reflected in the characters sitting down, or perhaps pushed against the wall. Its supposed to be a tense scene, make it tense. A shot from the outside looking into the basement would have been a nice addition too. Framing... way too much head space on the boxer. Don't be afraid to give him a haircut.

Bravo on shooting this kind of stuff. Its really the only way to learn IMHO. Keep it up!

excellent these are the exact things I needed to hear, I can already picture the things Ive did wrong with all of the key points that you guys pointed out.

thanks,