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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

Not Today (Spec)

T

Ty Hunt

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Yo!

I did a test viewing with friends and family. Now comes the true test. Testing with people who don't know me lol.

Looking for critical feedback on the whole spec. Let me know what you think. :)

Thanks!


Tech Specs:
Scarlet-W (DC2/RLF), Sony A7s (on a Ronin)
Sigma 18-35mm ART with ND .9 and POLA
Edited in Premiere CC
Colored in Lumetri (b/c I couldn't get the render in Resolve to match the grade I did).
Sound Edit in Audition
 
I'll give it to ya straight. I feel like it's a good core concept that needs quite a bit of polish to really hit hard like you want it.

Personally I felt like the intro and the body of the video were from two different pieces. The lone man singing, police/riot sounds, and slow motion had a certain feel. And then the city sounds and directly addressing camera with spoken word poetry had a different feeling altogether.

I also felt like the intro was far too long. It took 50 seconds out of a 2 minute piece just to get to the part where he speaks.

I can hear the transitions in the audio between takes. It seems like you're fading one take in and one take out on top of each other. I can hear the instances where there's a doubled voice for a second.

Lighting continuity is somewhat inconsistent. Any time you cut to a shot of the shoes or knees, it's clearly golden hour. The rest of the shots feel like 3-4 PM. I would try to grade out the warmth in those golden shots to match the rest of the piece.

Now, I feel like you can speed the entire piece up by taking all that intro footage and laying it on top if the spoken word - routinely cutting back to shots of him addressing the camera. That will help you mask audio/continuity problems, as well as give you the ability to quicken the pace of his delivery if you need.

I personally would try and re-edit the thing down to 60 seconds or less. There's a diamond in the rough, I can feel it.

Here's two spoken word commercials that Sprite did some years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmxkUitvAQg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOl0a1OaN88

And here's another one I just found that's more straight up without any B-roll, but you can tell every shot was planned meticulously:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1dVqT4v8jk
 
Yeah, it's crazy how quickly the lighting changed. When he was speaking, that was from 8:30a - 9:20a or so. We filmed the slow mo/intro stuff at 7:00a. You think it's worth reshooting the spoken word section? Honestly, the lighting change really bothered me, but I was hoping that it was just me being picky.

You hit on some things that I saw/felt when I posted it, so I will rethink the edit.

I see what you mean with your Sprite ads. Solid. Thanks for sharing them and the feedback. Much appreciated!
 
It needs to be tighter, pace is off. Start by cutting audio only, don't even think about images as the audio is the driver. A 30-40 piece will be way stronger for your reel.
 
Ash Worth said:
It needs to be tighter, pace is off. Start by cutting audio only, don't even think about images as the audio is the driver. A 30-40 piece will be way stronger for your reel.
Click to expand...

I appreciate the feedback. I'll play around with the edit.
 
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