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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

My Commercial Directorial debut: Triumph "Classic"

Its very nice Billy ...what frame rate most of the commercial was shot at ?
 
It's too long for a commercial and there is barely a concept or story that keeps me engaged. The Color correction is so aggressive that I can't emotionally connect with the image.

There are some nice camera moves in there and I like the reflection shot.
 
It needs to be tighter, the length is good but it loses the audience right about when you introduce the product. As awesome looking as the footage is, sometimes a director needs to be able to tighten up an edit and "Lose" material simply to keep the project powerful. It lookes really clean, I personally LOVED the color correction, but yeah it should be tighter.
 
This is the long version. There is a .30 and .60 for broadcast that is much tighter.
I just thought RED users on the forum would want to check more of the footage.
Frame rate is mostly 48

There was not alot of color correction Florian, the talent is just hella tan!
 
Florian Stadler said:
It's too long for a commercial and there is barely a concept or story that keeps me engaged....
Click to expand...

It's not a conceptual piece...more a general mood/atmosphere thing
which ties the product with a kind of lifestyle/mood/attitude.
Actually myself probably prefer this type of commercial as the
concept pieces come off too jokey sometimes. They become
all about the joke..not the product.

Seems like it was crying out to be in B&W with the retro music
and the bike being all black and chrome..the wet brick streets..etc.

The sound of the bike is huge and it didn't make an appearance here.
Also you have a big build up but then he just slowly rides off. Just
needs a bigger end to it...but overall pretty good for a first one.
 
Charles Angus said:
No hero shot of the product...

Need a good, full-frame shot of the bike with a little movement - perhaps POV-ish guy as he approachs?
Click to expand...

Agreed the hero shot should be when he gets on the bike.

the shots of him riding off need to have more impact.

Heck of a lot better then my first commercial I will tell you that!!

keep it up and never stop learning.
 
Billy Summers said:
Shot on MX #13.

This is my first attempt at commercial directing. It's the long version, but I think it works?

What do you guys think?

http://vimeo.com/13742621
Click to expand...

Hi Billy,

I have to say, it looks beautiful, but uses almost every cliche' in the motorcycle-marketing playbook:

Hopelessly hip rider dude in t-shirt, jeans and boots. Check.
Black leather biker jacket casually slung over shoulder. Check.
Two-day facial hair growth. Check.
Hip sunglasses on rainy day. Check. (Bonus cliche' points for bike reflecting in glasses)
Seedy, I-wouldn't-want-to-be-there-after-dark location. Check.
Famous blues-rock soundtrack. Check.

FWIW you missed the requisite gaze from a hot chick in a passing car, but it is your first time, lol.

The other guys make a good point, I think there needs to be a real story, and it needs to happen a lot faster. In :30, actually. And it would help to make it more about the bike. Right now, casual observers might think they're watching a Wrangler jeans commercial.

Great job otherwise. Thanks for posting.

-Fran
 
Definitely made some mistakes and learned a few lessons.
At the end of the day though- this was just me and the bro's on a Sunday afternoon, seeing what we could pull off commercial-wise.

-Thanks everyone
 
Billy Summers said:
Definitely made some mistakes and learned a few lessons.
At the end of the day though- this was just me and the bro's on a Sunday afternoon, seeing what we could pull off commercial-wise.

-Thanks everyone
Click to expand...

1st rule never apologize or give an excuse for what you have created. All the above criticisms and comments although very constructive are from personal subjective points of view. Absorb and change what you technically and conventionally can (like adding a hero shot, thats all the story you need), but don't change your creative decisions based on what others think it should have been.
This is a very impressive long form commercial coming straight out of your dome. Good job.
 
Fran Kuhn said:
you missed the requisite gaze from a hot chick in a passing car
-Fran
Click to expand...

Yes please. :yesnod:

Love the use of Led Zeppelin ... unless you were filming in New Orleans.

Most of all, it's great that you shot this Billy.
 
Footage looked good, but i'd try cutting it as a 15 and lighten up on the color correction a little bit. Nice work!
 
First of all, congrats on making it.

My constructive comments would be, as others have said, shorten this sucker up...even if it is the directors cut. Length isn't helping. Cut out that first crane shot. The last (and very similar) crane shot is better and shows the product. Speaking of product....that bike needs to look bad ass and sexy. It needs to pop. I see where you're going with this being a "mood piece" but if you're gonna show the product you need that gorgeous hero shot.

Also, besides the fact that you most likely don't have rights for that music, I actually think another music track would work better. Just my 2 cents.

Keep shooting!
 
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