Looking for some critical feedback

[Ian D'Amelia]

Hey all,

I am back with another short that a group of us made, looking to get some feedback. This was another film made for the 48 hour film project, which was shot on dragon/ zeiss ZE. I would love to hear some more experienced insights on how we might improve, and what we should be focusing on (any aspect of the film making is open to critique!)

Thank you for your time!

edit: link for mobile: http://vimeo.com/206510924/f6d8f6c718

 

[Sergio Perez]

Hi Ian,

I think it has an entertaining script, you definitely have something going on in terms of ideas. The cheesy ending of the guy was a bit too much. I like it that the film is not pretentious while having nice ideas like the dating sites, spam, etc.

You're working with a very low budget and one can tell. Special FX movies on a tight budget (maybe even "no budget", self financed) are generally something that I don't recommend since it really shows.

In terms of cinematography, I think you have much to improve. The lighting is a bit off, I understand what you were trying to achieve but the way the scene and the talent were lit needs work. I'm not a fan of the framing and choice of focal lengths for the framing. What carries the story is the idea and somehow competent script. I would reshoot this, specially the interiors.

The Hologram effect works, but you should really work out on the cinematography.

I may sound too harsh but there's definitely talent here Ian. Keep doing more films. Keep learning. Keep experimenting.

 

[Stephen Brace]

The whole bit with the man in the robe is just grossly homophobic.