How to make it better?

[Tommi Hares]

A short Demo of work done for XXX -- How to make (the demo) better? Any ideas? Make me learn!
XXX

EDIT: Oh, what the hell. When did I put this here. Proof that wine & internet doesn't mix.

 

[Martin Weiss]

Stabilize the tracking shot.

Use a thicker type face to avoid aliasing in the zoom.

When shooting for Burger King, do not show a McDonald's logo. Likewise, get rid of the Lufthansa shot.

The arriving airplane is way too long.

What is actually the message of the clip. I hear electronic music, and see some people with luggage. I'd like some information, be it by voice-over, commentary or text (preference in that order).

Some more grading would not hurt either.

Don't re-use the same shot.

 

[Tommi Hares]

Stabilize the tracking shot.

Use a thicker type face to avoid aliasing in the zoom.

When shooting for Burger King, do not show a McDonald's logo. Likewise, get rid of the Lufthansa shot.

The arriving airplane is way too long.

What is actually the message of the clip. I hear electronic music, and see some people with luggage. I'd like some information, be it by voice-over, commentary or text (preference in that order).

Some more grading would not hurt either.

Don't re-use the same shot.

Thanks for the comments. The video was just a quick demo for some people of the work we did for a training video... It was just meant to be seen in-house.