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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

Hilarious video, or not...

Patrick Lavaud

Patrick Lavaud

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A 1 minutes video I shot just for fun and to see how much views I can get on Youtube with a crazy Idea...

so hilarious, or not ?

gonna go viral, or not ?

just upload it yesterday...

look forward reading your comments !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oJGP51FAZo&feature=youtu.be

shot with RED Scarlet x
Lens: RPZ 17-50mm
 
Owen Rennie said:
Yeh very predictable ending..
Click to expand...

Yea, that was the hardest part during the shot (come on guys.. It really was! lol) about how much clue we want give to the audience, too much or not enough with the "shaking" part...

I really like to go into details when I shot and I was expecting to surprise the audience with the ending that they can enjoy all the small details, knowing the end, the second time they watch it.

Obviously I failed...

It's hard to make the balance between showing too much or not enough without some fresh feedback, especially on a 1 minute video I guess but yea, my biggest error was probably to underestimated the intelligence of my audience !
Good lesson...
 
Hey as long as you had fun making it, you should be happy :)
 
Patrick Lavaud said:
Yea, that was the hardest part during the shot (come on guys.. It really was! lol) about how much clue we want give to the audience, too much or not enough with the "shaking" part...

I really like to go into details when I shot and I was expecting to surprise the audience with the ending that they can enjoy all the small details, knowing the end, the second time they watch it.

Obviously I failed...

It's hard to make the balance between showing too much or not enough without some fresh feedback, especially on a 1 minute video I guess but yea, my biggest error was probably to underestimated the intelligence of my audience !
Good lesson...
Click to expand...

failed? it's still a funny video. and as long as it entertains, it's fine. I'm sure it was a hilarious shoot, too ;)
 
I think maybe her position was too much a giveaway. Maybe laying flat on the bed rather than doggie would of looked simply like a girl texting... Girls don't usually text like that... Good video still.
 
Maybe just extreme CU and focus on the texting but that would take some creative writing.
 
Sandro Klopfstein said:
failed? it's still a funny video. and as long as it entertains, it's fine. I'm sure it was a hilarious shoot, too ;)
Click to expand...

Failed to find the right balance between to much and too little clue to give to the audience I mean.

YES ! it was hilarious to shoot it, we had so much fun and that's priceless !
 
Patrick... was that you fucking her in the photos at the end?!

:)

On a technical note I found the cuts between the CUs/MCUs of the girl to the XCU of the phone jarring because it crossed the line. I think it would have cut better if you shot that from her right shoulder.

On editing, there were to many precursors that gave away the ending. Her awkward motion, the bear shaking. I think the first time I ever saw a variation of this pun was in Beverly Hills Cop (forget which one) when a girl is riding somebody cowboy style, whilst doing her nails, and also on the phone

From memory, the reason why that scene worked was because they held the tension just long enough then cut away to what was happening without dragging out any "surprise ending" for too long.

I honestly think this would have worked better if there was another element there... I dunno, just thinking off the top of my head here...suppose she was texting the guy she picked up. And they were doing sex talk via sms rather than actually talking dirty to each other. You think it is just sexting then you pull back to realise they are in the same room, fucking each other and texting each other at the same time. The punch line could be many things... the obvious one is her calls her the wrong name in the midst of passion. The climax would literally be an autocorrect... I dunno... just saying :)

Thanks for sharing. I love peoples pet projects on reduser :)
 
Ivan Kovax said:
Patrick... was that you fucking her in the photos at the end?
Click to expand...

lol, no, I was handling the camera !

Ivan Kovax said:
On a technical note I found the cuts between the CUs/MCUs of the girl to the XCU of the phone jarring because it crossed the line. I think it would have cut better if you shot that from her right shoulder.
Click to expand...

I know !!! I realized it while editing but it was too late of course... what happened here was not that I cross the line with the camera but for practical reasons she seats on the edge of the bed with the pillow on her knee and I shoot all the mobile CU over her shoulder but I didn't realize that she was facing the opposite direction so it looks like I crossed the line... damn...

Ivan Kovax said:
On editing, there were to many precursors that gave away the ending. Her awkward motion, the bear shaking. I think the first time I ever saw a variation of this pun was in Beverly Hills Cop (forget which one) when a girl is riding somebody cowboy style, whilst doing her nails, and also on the phone

From memory, the reason why that scene worked was because they held the tension just long enough then cut away to what was happening without dragging out any "surprise ending" for too long.

I honestly think this would have worked better if there was another element there... I dunno, just thinking off the top of my head here...suppose she was texting the guy she picked up. And they were doing sex talk via sms rather than actually talking dirty to each other. You think it is just sexting then you pull back to realise they are in the same room, fucking each other and texting each other at the same time. The punch line could be many things... the obvious one is her calls her the wrong name in the midst of passion. The climax would literally be an autocorrect... I dunno... just saying :)

Thanks for sharing. I love peoples pet projects on reduser :)
Click to expand...

You are right, the end is too obvious, too much shaking, especially on the first medium shot of her... I love your idea with the couple chatting feelings and dirty words while having sex!
It was a good exercise for me anyway to do a comedy concept, I'm better to build suspense and fright my audience and all your feedbacks are more than welcome and will be useful for next one ! Thanks !
 
Sandro Klopfstein said:
life is awesome but the sex must have been less than stellar if she felt like texting people during it :D
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"Life is awesome, share it" is definitely sarcastic, the video channel we made will be all about ridiculous and extremes situations from addicted women with their mobile, an endless souce of inspiration !
 
I would have had the story line as the girl texting her husband for money in another country... We know how bad some of those Thais and indos can be... well i do anyway ;)
 
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