Cosmetics Commercial

[Julian Holzwarth]

Hey,

i made this commercial for school, its not the finished version,
but before i deliver it to my teacher or the client, i wanted to
get some feedback or maybe suggestions for improvements.


http://vimeo.com/2307832

MAKING-OF: http://vimeo.com/2331014


(somehow the motion is not really fluid on vimeo, a lil bucking)

it was shot with build16, in 25fps (4k) and 50fps (3k),
and the red 18-50mm zoom and a zeiss HS 85mm on
one day.

the music is going to get a new mix,
the percussion is too loud.

sometimes we had problems with the booting of the camera,
but overall im blown away by the quality the camera delivers!

cheers, julian

__________________________________________
www.jholzwarth.com
__________________________________________
production company for commercials x musicvideos
based in germany

 

[Jonas Rejman]

My very own personal opinion, from my limited view:

The intercuts to the close-up are disturbing the story of the commercial. It seems to push itself too much into the foreground. They are repetitive, nothing new is happening, so I get the point (she is beauty) after the second intercut.

I understand, that this is about beauty, but I feel, that this is too much. The woman is beautiful in the storyshots. The lightning supports that, so why repeat yourself?

The close-ups seem to be a complete other story, not linked to the story itself. I thought at the beginning, she might be in front of the mirror, when she was getting ready. But now, she seems to be in a timeless and non-context space.

Also, what is disturbed me are the eyes. The reflection makes her alien-like. Actually I was frightened a little.

Personally, I would get rid of the the intercuts all together. Tell the story, and then finish with one short close-up of her (product shot), before the graphics.

This is quite standard. But so is the way, how you decided to tell this commercial about beauty. The way it is edited will not save this fact.


I like the human moments in the story. The exchange of the looks between him and her. This thrills me, something is going on. The overall lightning is "commercial" - like, the world is beautiful, but I am ok with that when I look at, because it is not overdone. I accept, that I am in a certain world, and wait to see what will happen.

To sum up, the story-line works visually and contextually for me, the beauty-shots line is out of place and missing the message (alien-eyes).

 

[Sanjin Jukic]

Jonas,

you are right because of the reflection in eyes that is too much.

Dr.Hauschka Skin Care Company could pay even celebrity like a Madonna,

or a new fashion shooting star Czech model Karolina Kurkova.

That would make a difference and again no funny eyes.

Never forget George Clooney and Nespresso.

Clooney is just moving his soft smile face around all that women and Nespresso coffee.

 

[Zakaree Sandberg]

eyes were noooo good

 

[David Birdy]

The effect you used on the eyes give me an uncomfortable feeling because it is not natural.

Special effects like this work better in a "fantasy" type spot....Hobit type stuff.

Change the eyes and the spot is very good!

My 2cents

Dave

Nice Pic third man......is that your girl friend!!!!

 

[Obin Olson]

confusing

 

[Paul Hazlett]

I think you can use the eye treatment as long as the shape is part of the products logo, but it can't be so obvious. Bring the effect quickly and leave
quickly and not everytime we see a close up so we only get a hint and maybe connect it at the end with the product.

It spot looks a million times better than anything I produced in college.

 

[Julian Holzwarth]

thx for all the feedback so far...
damn, building that star was not my best idea
im goin to get a big round diffusion sheet infront of the star,
that i will get round circular reflections in the eyes,
like from the Briese reflectors.

or im goin to shoot a sciencefiction movie

the star has a diameter of 2,80m. does anyone know where i can get
big diffusors? i guess 1/4WD is strong enough.

another thing why the eyes maybe look "weird" to a lot of you:
we shot the studio scenes in the middle of the night and the
model was very tired and had extremely red eyes, so i
brought the saturation in the red channel in the post all the way
down and the lightness all the way up and added some more
contrast to the eyes. i probably overdid it.

i need most of the studio intercuts,
because the continuity is not good enough,
but i try to get rid of some, or maybe combine the studio shots
with product shots, in a splitscreen with a voiceover.

 

[Dylan Macleod CSC]

thx for all the feedback so far...
damn, building that star was not my best idea
im goin to get a big round diffusion sheet infront of the star,
that i will get round circular reflections in the eyes,
like from the Briese reflectors.

or im goin to shoot a sciencefiction movie

the star has a diameter of 2,80m. does anyone know where i can get
big diffusors? i guess 1/4WD is strong enough.

another thing why the eyes maybe look "weird" to a lot of you:
we shot the studio scenes in the middle of the night and the
model was very tired and had extremely red eyes, so i
brought the saturation in the red channel in the post all the way
down and the lightness all the way up and added some more
contrast to the eyes. i probably overdid it.

i need most of the studio intercuts,
because the continuity is not good enough,
but i try to get rid of some, or maybe combine the studio shots
with product shots, in a splitscreen with a voiceover.

Unlike most hacks on this board, I like the ring lite!

Just kidding guys...

But yes, the bare tube reflections are a bit distracting.

I have a ring lite not unlike this one and got an old 6x6 grid cloth from a rental house and cut a hole in the center. You have to try to "float"it in a frame a couple of inches away from the bulbsn to lose the lines of the kinos.

The other thing to try is to play with the distance of the light to the subject. If you pull it back a bit, then the reflections will be smaller and less distracting. Of course, with a ring lite you are also having to pull the camera back and your 18-50 might not be long enough to get the tight shots you want.

I agree with most about the repetition.

 

[David Birdy]

I guess the real question is:

Who was responsible for giving the model the "red" eyes the night before???

Ketch....was that you?

 

[Ramesh Jai]

The last shot with the blue background doesn't match with the backgrounds of the rest of the ad. It's good by itself though.

The shots are kinda static and the style of the ad is very 1970's. I won't talk about the eye bit 'coz everyone else has.

Having said that I think the client will be satisfied.

 

[Brandon Fraley]

im goin to get a big round diffusion sheet infront of the star, that i will get round circular reflections in the eyes,
like from the Briese reflectors.

very good call. otherwise looks good

 

[Julian Holzwarth]

thx for all the feedback...

dylan, i checked out ur commercials and other videos,
ur work is amazing! ur definelty an inspiration
for my next projects...

ramesh, u wrote the shots are 1970ish, is it because they are too static?
what can i do to let my next commercial look more up to date?
maybe more handheld? or different camera moves, or a more
extreme grade?

and here is a little making-of from the shooting:

http://vimeo.com/2331014

 

[mikeburton]

I would make it a 15sec. spot. Might help reduce redundancy. Go for the story and end in the close-ups, that way it won't distract people when you mix the two together. People are used to a "product" shot at the end and she is technically the product shot in close up. Pick the best close up and leave it at that. Also, maybe consider a different track that doesn't sound so 70's porn and I think it needs some kind of voiceover to help guide the viewer from scene to scene. Seems like you tried to shove all the shots you filmed in there because you shot them. Don't let that distract you from the main objective of the spot and be critical of your choices.

As an editor, mainly (I have done quite a few commercials) I like to make a "fat cut" and then a "bare bones cut". The bare bones cut is always the most helpful for me to narrow down the story and gets you in a different frame of mind. You have some nice visuals to work with, be brutal cause at the end of the day no matter how nice you lit and shot your material if the end product doesn't hold its own, all of the other efforts are heavily diminished.

 

[borrgo]

only my two cents...it would play perfectly well to fill time in an infomercial but like everyone said its too long. the cuts could be there, maybe, but cut down to some shorter slo-mo shots.

some times we tend to fall in love with totally usable shots in theory but they don't always fit as a whole into the projects. thats where the creativity either comes out or you don't take advantage of your own footage... when you have to reduce it down.

if on "beauty close up shots she was doing something like laughing, turning her head slowly ( or slo-mo) it would have had more impact. or if the make up was a little more noticable.

 

[Ramesh Jai]

When you watch the ad you definitely get the feeling that you've seen it all before - way back in the 70's. Besides the static nature of the shots it's also the angles.

Whenever I set up a shot I look at it and ask myself 'How can I make this more interesting?' Usually I end up lowering the camera or raising it or even changing the angle altogether. I walk around the action area to get the most interesting backgrounds that have depth. I then set up the shot.

Using Jib arms and simple dolly movements greatly enhance a video. Don't get me wrong, not everything has to have movement. When you have a great story to tell, tell it very very simply. When you don't, use all the equipment and angles you can to make it visually interesting at least.

Like they say, if you can dazzle them with your brilliance baffle them with your bullshit.

Finally, I don't think there's anything wrong with the grade. IMO the grading is good.