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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

Student Car Commercial

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David Perkins

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Hey guys,

I just finished my first cut of a cinematography project at school. The project titled: "I Love My Car" had to be a short commercial using DoF, Camera Motion and Lens Selection. I am looking for some feedback about composition, lighting and motion. I'm not always satisfied with my work and would love to learn more from everyone here.

https://vimeo.com/51327321

It was not shot on a Red but a Sony F-3. This is the equipment I had available:

4- 2K's ( these couldn't be raised up very high)
8ft silk
F-3 w/ 18mm, 35mm, 50mm, 85mm
Dolly
Cineslider
Jib

I hope you guys enjoy it.

David
 
not bad, some good stuff here. I would say its 11 seconds to long to be a :30 spot so you can probably make it better by removing those seconds in the form of some of the shots at dont work quite as well.

Also next time, it would greatly add to your production value to have a clean car. In some shots you can tell its kinda dirty.

I also think a different grade can help it a little bit, maybe give it a little bit more contrast as well.
 
What shots would you say don't work as well? Sometimes I have trouble seeing ones that don't fit the whole project if I personally like the shot. I haven't played to much with the grade yet. I was thinking about giving it more contrast but I wasn't sure if it would be to much since it is already dark.
 
What lenses did you use? I love the night shots where all the lights create speckly little flares all over the place
 
Just my opinion but the car isn't popping. You actually need a nice big light source to get good highlights off of it. Need to drive by and park it next to outdoor buildings that are pumping light. Times square kind of power. Here's a video for how they light a studio shoot. I know it's different than for video, but it may give some inspiration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w638djAPyA
 
Bob Gundu said:
Just my opinion but the car isn't popping. You actually need a nice big light source to get good highlights off of it. Need to drive by and park it next to outdoor buildings that are pumping light. Times square kind of power. Here's a video for how they light a studio shoot. I know it's different than for video, but it may give some inspiration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w638djAPyA
Click to expand...

I agree. The lighting wasn't what I wanted. I actually watched that video for inspiration. I was trying to go for a large source. I was lucky to get the 2k's and the 8x8. I go to a small school in the middle of nowhere. Lights, flags, and grip gear haven't been a priority of their equipment wish list.

Would the larger source be better from the top? Or is the position of the large source based on the look for the commercial?
 
David Perkins said:
I agree. The lighting wasn't what I wanted. I actually watched that video for inspiration. I was trying to go for a large source. I was lucky to get the 2k's and the 8x8. I go to a small school in the middle of nowhere. Lights, flags, and grip gear haven't been a priority of their equipment wish list.

Would the larger source be better from the top? Or is the position of the large source based on the look for the commercial?
Click to expand...

David,

The evening sky, and sometimes the dawn sky are giant soft boxes. When the sun is not in the sky, but there is still plenty of light, you can get all of the same beautiful gradations of light on the body of the car as with a Fisher box. Find an open area like a field or rolling hills where the only reflections are sky and landscape, then almost every surface of the car is shootable.

Tim Eaton
 
Thanks guys for the feedback. It's nice to get good feedback I really appreciate it!
 
As an excercise I think you did a great job. These can be tricky and I'm sure you learned a lot about what you would do differently if you had the opportunity to start over.

As you have asked for critique:

I agree with Louis. There are some really nice moments but they stay on too long and it ruins the magic, particularly at 23 sec, 26 sec and maybe a bit on the final shot. These are the biggest ones but most of the shots can be shaved significantly and it will really improve the pace, excitement and flow.

Basic rule is if you see enough to be satisfied you have shown too much, and this is magnified a thousand times if there are production restrictions.


Then Grade the Hell out of it and make it jump off the screen.
 
I'm sorry it took me so long to respond, I forgot to come back to this thread in the rush.

Exactly as Jim said, You want to leave me wanting me more at the end of each shot so you can trim up a lot of them.. There are a few shots where the motion will end and I think you can cut those shots while the motion is still in progress to get a greater sense of wanting to see the whole care. I wouldn't reveal the whole car until the end with your last shot.

A particular shot that I think should be removed all together is the one at :18 I feel like I'm not in love with that composition, and I don't get to see enough of the lines of the car to keep me interested, and the side panel in itself is not that interesting of a part. I feel like the bricks in the right corner and the light are a little distracting and I think I se what looks like the front end of an Audi in the reflection. Were you using its headlights to get some light on the car? The shot that comes in at :23 and goes till :25 can easily be cut down till at least 24.5 or so, maybe even more.. I definitely feel we linger on this shot too much.

Generally though, I'd shorten up pretty much every shot just to tighten it up... I realize this is a cinematography project but tight editing can emphasize good cinematography, not every shot will be used in its entirety for stuff like this.

So like I said before, try to get this piece down to :30 by just generally tightening up each edit, removing a shot or two if you feel like its not as strong as the others (an example I provided above at :18), and then work on a little bit of a grade... just a tad increase in contrast on some shots will help and try to develop what kind of look you'd like for your piece and make every shot have that same feeling. It will give the piece a feeling of uniformity not so much like a collection of shots.

Hope all is well, and please update the thread with the finished piece and with what your professor thinks! We'd love to see your final product!

Good luck.
 
I agree with Louis about the tightening and also about the shot at 0:18
But I have something additional when talking about the edit. Take a look at your Font in the end. The Font itself is great but I think you have to play around with the spacings.
Something like that:
Yours: Changed:


I know it's just a little bit but regarding fonts I'm a perfectionist.
 
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