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[FS: RED Gear] Original RED Rocket Card (sad and despairing reminder of $4,750 blown - yours cheap!)

Rob Anderson

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Up for grabs is an original, authentic, RED Rocket debayering card. Worked for about 4 months or so before inexplicably shitting out and never working again. Throws a charming SV_ERROR on driver load and will not be recognized by REDCINE-X. We followed the frustrating as fuck instructions to try to bring this card back to life but no-joy, only more sad feels and tears.

Paid $100 to ship and have it inspected by RED who told us the card was FUBAR and could only be replaced at a "discounted price" (hahaha). Delicious sugary insult on top of injury.

Once returned, the card has sat in a fashionable clear storage case in a professional, non-smoking environment. Every time we look at it, we get a little angry (not food related) and feel pangs of despair inside. Dark thoughts. Evil things. Think often of shooting it with 9mm gun. Or burning it. Possibly cursed.

Perhaps you're good with insanely complex microcircuitry? Maybe you want a little sad and despair in your life too*? (*Only non-performance of the card is guaranteed, depressing feelings may not be transferrable.) Or perhaps you've got pockets with cold hard cash blowing holes out of them and you've just got to spend that shit? Either way, this card could be yours!

$4,750 shipped to you anywhere in the USA! A few bucks more if international. Or cheaper if you want to make us a ridiculing offer that will further increase our anxiety, negative feelings, sadness, and tech-depression over what this card has done (and now doesn't do).

Same as shown here (but less-working):
http://www.red.com/store/products/red-rocket

*Novelty item as arguably the only bad product RED has ever released. While that's pretty damn impressive of a track record, it blows for us. With purchase, it can blow for you too. Will ship with label on card and no box. Why bother with expensive cardboard packaging?

red_rocket4.jpg


A poignant reflection of the personal being. I finger the card, but it is myself I am truly fingering.

red_rocket6.jpg


Note the purposeful lack of trigger discipline. Become, wrath.

red_rocket5.jpg


This is the dark underbelly of the card, in case you were wondering. Shockingly, no portals to a visible hell that can be seen. Or heard.
 
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