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Worst Recent Films Lists (You know what to do)

Joe G.

Joe G.

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Worst films in recent memory (about a decade).

10. MAGNOLIA: Pretentious twaddle with a few decent scenes. As a movie, it's a wreck. My wife says, "The emperor wears no clothes."

9. NICK AND NORA'S INFINITE PLAYLIST: The most unlikable lead ever (Michael Cera apparently being himself), where you wish from the bottom of your soul that the character doesn't end up with the beautiful girl and dies a horrible explosive death instead.

8. LITTLE NICKY: Adam Sandler plummets to new depths in this total embarassment to America, to Rock and Roll, and even to Lucifer.

7. NATIONAL LAMPOON'S EVERYTHING WE'VE DONE SINCE VACATION: Aren't these supposed to be somewhat educated people? ANIMAL HOUSE was an all-time classic. VAN WILDER showed the decline. Now, what the hell are these people about? They need help (or a bankruptcy lawyer).

6. EVIL ALIEN CONQUERERS: I clicked this at Hulu, and saw that Phil Lamarr (MadTV) was in it, so I watched. Hulu can be a large trash dump sometimes. There's kitchy and there's shlock, and then there's this crap.

5. RACHEL GETTING MARRIED: Lasted 5 minutes and off. Horrible visuals, horrible acting.

4. MEET THE SPARTANS: Lasted 4 minutes, and off. I pity the fools who paid full price at a theater.

3. STAR WARS EPISODE 1 - THE PHANTOM MENACE: Let Buffalo Bill break it down for you.

2. TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE: Blatant fascistic war propaganda aimed at retards. Goebbels smiles from the grave.

1. GERRY: The most boring movie ever filmed. Two morons run into the desert, and it takes 90 minutes for one to end up dead. It should have taken 90 seconds, and they both should have died.
​

Dishonorable mention:

My wife wanted 1993's DEAD ALIVE included as "Barf-sploitation." Says she, "It's just nasty. Has no redeeming value. Horrifying that movie exists. Just plain blechhhh."

(I don't watch a lot of the big, obvious disasters like Transformers, GI Joe, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, or Larry the Cable Guy...)
​
 
Team America World Police??? The entire movie is a satire about how limited America's view of the world is. One of my FAVORITES! Plus the fact that is was all puppetry makes it amazing in itself. Watching the bonus features is a must.

One movie I despised while others praised it was Rachel Getting Married... awful (in fact that may be the movie you are referring to in #5)
 
R. Schorman said:
Team America World Police??? The entire movie is a satire about how limited America's view of the world is. One of my FAVORITES! Plus the fact that is was all puppetry makes it amazing in itself. Watching the bonus features is a must.

One movie I despised while others praised it was Rachel Getting Married... awful
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i dont know if joe did interpret the movie the same way we did...i laughed a lot...just look team america and hurt locker back to back....(it ruined hurt locker for me, i had to laugh at placeswhere i shouldnt had to laugh i guess... hehe, watched team america at home. went to a friend who wanted to see hurt locker)
 
Transformers 2 was fucking terrible! possibly the worst "plot" ever known to man.
 
Team America was hilarious. It's a satire of action movies, jingoism and actors. What's not to love?

Magnolia was terrific to my mind. That was some of Tom Cruise's best acting and he might have been the weakest guy in the whole show.

Not necessarily recent, but Striptease and Air Force One come to mind as particularly horrible. Haven't seen Pearl Harbor - I'm guessing it was bad.
 
Loved Team America :)

Lost in Translation sucked :)
 
My wife wanted 1993's DEAD ALIVE included as "Barf-sploitation." Says she, "It's just nasty. Has no redeeming value. Horrifying that movie exists. Just plain blechhhh."
Click to expand...

I watched this recently just because it was from Peter Jackson. National lampoon meets a demented Wes Craven. It was truly strange. He's come a loooooooong way
 
Bryce O said:
Lost in Translation had less of a plot than Transformers 2.
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Agreed, that movie was damn awful.
Team America is HILARIOUS. Everything about it is genius.

I think everyone is forgetting about Marcie X. Played in theaters for less than 2 weeks. I had to see it to write a film review. I was the only one in the theater.
 
Frank Weeks said:
I watched this recently just because it was from Peter Jackson. National lampoon meets a demented Wes Craven. It was truly strange. He's come a loooooooong way
Click to expand...

No kidding! "Bad Taste" is one of my most favorite movies, and thats his first movie, now thats seriously messed up.

"Date movie"... utterly terrible.
"Public Enemies".... Walked out of the theatre after getting dizzy from too much handheld work. Made Depp look terrible, even though he was good. Made the gangster getting gunned down near the end look like a comedy (people actually laughed out loud).
 
1. Terminator Salvation - Just outright offensive. Just watch the trailer. It's a much better movie. The plot was awful. Worst plot of the year. Every single thing in the movie that happens is absurd and stupid. On reflection it makes even less sense. The action pieces are pretty much crap except for the shots in the trailer so there isn't even any eye candy. And at the end the main character offers to commit suicide to save Jon Conner and NOBODY has a problem with it at all!

2. What the Bleep Do We Know? - More than this film would lead you to believe. Take a dash of New Age Crystal 'Science', a healthy smattering of 100k year old Atlantian Priest interviews (Yes that's right they interview a 100k year old Atlantian for their insights into the latest in Quantum theory), add a dollup of misquotes and a general disgust for actual science and you have yourself the most aptly named movie of the decade.

3. Silent Hill - Beautiful film but it had the extremely rare gift of both boring me to death and disgusting me. "The only thing keeping me awake is my revolsion".

4. Final Fantasy Advent Children - The animation was Awful, the story was stupid and I just wanted everybody to die so it would end already.

5. The Host - The villain who starts the whole 'story' doesn't make any sense. I still don't know what he was doing or who he was or wtf was going on. The only thing you know for sure is that since it's a Korean Film everyone is going to die. They didn't disappoint. I guess that means I'm supposed to feel sad at the end, but when you know they're all going to die and they're all annoying and the premise doesn't even make any sense it's just 90 minutes of bad CG eating people. (He's an American Doctor who pollutes? Make up your mind people, Do you want the US military out of Korea, are you anti-pollution, the combination of the two is just bizzare and indecipherable.)

6. Signs - Wait... what about the humidity? And wouldn't the aliens like... wear a poncho or something. And WTF are they doing here? And is this supposed to be scary or hillarious? "Here smell my finger".


7. Unbreakable - Worst super hero story ever. Or as my roomate in college referred to it "Unbearable". Is it 4 hours long? Because that's how long I remember it running.

8. Dancer in the Dark - If you pretend that Bjork is retarded and it's a tragic tale of the mentally handicapped being mistreated then you might sympathize. But I can't sympathize with people who don't want to succeed. Also the music sounds like Bjork singing along to a 2 year old in a kitchen.

9. Old Boy - Sweet hallway fight a great movie does not make. I didn't care about anyone. I really would have been fine to have him locked away forever. But that was a really sweet hallway fight.

10 Battlefield Earth - Nosehair Dreadlocks. Enough said.
 
1. Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay (yeah, I know, they are not movies, but as everything they direct or even produce sucks I need to vent it this way!!)

2. Armageddon or "morons in outer space"

3. The Core...oh please, who came up with something that dumb??

4. Benjamin Button - to me, a filmed depression which doesn`t make any sense

5. Mystic River - it was so boring I nearly fell asleep

- to be continued
 
I was curious about KILL BILL, got both on DVD, almost made it through the first one with a lot of agony and pain, but in the end I caved in after endless nonsense fighting scenes, Oh my God: Quentin Tarantion I WANT 1hrs and 45 mins of MY LIFE BACK!!!

Transformers was also terrible, I still kick my butt for getting that one on blu-ray, but early on there were few titles on blu-ray so I got every one I thought I could like even a little.

I loved Lost In Translation though, it has a good mood and interesting characters, so even if it doesn´t have so much of a plot, I could happily watch it even if it was longer.
 
As an American who has been to Tokyo many times, I found Lost in Translation really funny and engaging. If you've never been a Western expat in Tokyo, I can see how a lot would be, well, lost in translation. : )

My worst of the past several years:

1) Anything in the Austin Powers series. Myers is one of those comedians you either love or hate. My wife and I are firmly in the "hate" column. We walked out of "Goldmember" in favor of beer and wings at Chili's.

2) Space Chimps. I've got young kids, so I went. I can't believe I spent money on this dribble. Even my kids were bored stiff.

3) 88 Minutes. I guess everyone needs a paycheck, but Al... really???

4) BloodRayne. But, this movie also goes in my best list for completely different reasons. The world is a more awesome place with Uwe Boll movies!

5) Pretty much anything with Harrison Ford in it over the past 5 or 6 years. The same character, the same lines, the same guy. If I want to see a halfway decent movie with that character, I'll go for Patriot Games.

Lucas
 
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