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HOW TO SPEAK SCRIPT - free online eBook

alexwhitmer

alexwhitmer

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I had every intention of publishing this 300 pager titled HOW TO SPEAK SCRIPT, but somehow feel more inclined to share it on line via my site. Less complicated.

For those of you looking for some screenplay writing tips, I'll be posting chapters over the next few months, though not necessarily in any order. This book is written with the filmmaker in mind, not just aspiring screenwriters.

Here is chapter 9 - Brevity and Clarity, two key elements to script writing. It's complete with explanations and lots of comparative samples to follow.

NOTE: This is an ongoing work in progress, so expect a few typos and other nonsense.

Enjoy!

Also check out 'Dialogue' and 'Opening Pages' under My eBook

http://alexwhitmer.wordpress.com/my-book-brevity-and-clarity/CHAPTER NINE BREVITY AND CLARITY/

alex
 
I have been writing since I was a child, ha ha, no really, Stories and such, and now have four Screen Plays in the works.

English is a B%$@ to me, but I love its expressive way, and determined to finnish my first and most important script "Chronicles of Perseverance" in English.

Wil read thru your material Alex, see if anything sticks :-)
 
Wow thanx!!! :thumbsup:
I don't write, but sometimes I have to ...
 
Okay after reading the first ten pages, I have to say that your writing is not only easy on the ear, but very pleasing to the mind, well written words as well as sensitive to the material it self, are difficult to find, many scrabble words here and there as almost copy/pasted from various sources on the net.

I have read tone of material thru the years to help me and point me in the right direction, I wish I had read some of your material early on when most was needed.

I don't write specs, I only write material for my self, stories, (most of them if not all of them True Stories) and I have come to forget most of what I read on how to do this or that, cause Hollywood wants it this way or that way, don't do this, must do that, and so on, I write for my self, so I do it in any way best fits my needs, but nonetheless it is absolutely true, and very well expressed as you write, that the SCRIPT is like a Blue Print, (I also know a bit of Construction design) and it is true that the Blue Print, same as in a script, is nothing but the base, were every one will take and give something to make it better or simply possible to be translated in to a MOtion Picture, so even for me that I write for my self, to Direct and Produce my own Movies, still, there will have to be many which ned to read and understand were I'm coming from, and what I see, and how I see it, so that they can help bring it to life.

Thanks again for posting this, great read so far, you make me wish I had more time and do some writing in Italian boards as to share my knowledge with many Italian inspiring writers and Filmmakers, but unfortunately with so much to do and little time to do them al, I just can't, at list not for awhile, but I thank you for sharing.
 
KETCH ROSSI said:
I write for my self, to Direct and Produce my own Movies, still, there will have to be many which ned to read and understand were I'm coming from, and what I see, and how I see it, so that they can help bring it to life.
Click to expand...

I first set out on this project for that reason exactly. I found a number of filmmakers wanted to write and film their own stories, and pretty much knew everything about the their equipment, and knew how to move on a set, and frame their shots, etc., but found much of the material on screenwriting was written for aspiring writers hoping to sell the next big spec.

I work almost exclusively by assignment, and picked up a lot of 'language' straight from the person behind the camera, and from the person in the Director's chair, and from those working behind the scenes to make it all happen. This experience made all the difference in the world on how I see screenplays.

Think of this as a guide for filmmakers, not just writers.

Thanks for sharing your story.

alex
 
well written and much blessings for making it a free online book!!! I have learnt so much from the few pages available and boosted up my writing style to an innumerable percentage!!!
The only con: WHEN WILL THE WHOLE BOOK BE AVAILABLE??? ASAP!!

**Edit** make this thread a sticky
 
Alex, Great stuff and I hope to see more released.

I have already benefitted from the material I have read.

Thanks again and looking forward to more!

Alan
 
'TIP FOR THE DAY'

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

John enters the bedroom and kicks off his shoes.

Here we have bedroom twice. I see this a million times a year. It's redundant, and adds yet one more opportunity for mistakes as your crew weeds through the script, looking for information. Cut the superfluous.

This should read ...

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

John enters, kicks off his shoes.

Cheers,

a
 
The news is still my favorite place to find stories.

This just in ...

A woman racked up $21,000.00 on her boyfriend's credit card so that he would break up with her, because, she told police, she didn't have the heart to do the breaking up.

Right. Didn't have the cash either. File this one under RomCom. Theme? Nice try.


I'm still waiting for the age of Aquarius!

a
 
Screenwriting Tip - Naming Characters​


When naming your characters, give each a name that starts with a different letter of the alphabet, like ...

George, Marty, Sarah.

Don't do this ...

John, Josh, and Judy.

As actors scan for their parts and dialogues, it can easily confuse and slow things down. Also, don't use names that sound similar, like ...

Ronald, Donald, and Reginald.

Again, it can really throw a wrench into the wheel of efficiency.



One big reason I don't Cap things I feel are important is this ...

She grabbed a TERRY towel. If I have a character named Terry, how confusing can that get! I save caps for first-time character intros, and rarely for anything else.



Last tip. If you use a name likely not familiar in all cultures, or a name that is unisex, make sure you let the reader know if this is a male or female. Names like ...

Chris, Pat, Cassie, Terry and Sam can be either male or female. A name like Bahati is not a common name, and needs to be followed with something like BAHATI, a 30s woman dressed in fine silks ...

This is also true for nicknames and in fantastical stories with odd monsters and little faeries - like in the Hobbit, Pan's Labyrinth, or hangin' around Hogwarts.

Don't keep us guessing.



Last, last tip. When picking a name, do a little background on it. It may mean the opposite of the character you are developing. I wouldn't name a mousy librarian Kassandra, for example. Well, unless she led a double life!

Kassandra: Greek, she who entangles men.

alex
 
Screenwriting Tip - Camera Direction
​

I'm of the school where camera directions, for the most part, are to be left out of a script. Save those for your shooting script.

One reason is, you want to present the script to your reader (Producer, PA, Actors, Set Design, etc,) in pure story form. Camera instructions can be a real big distraction. Kinda like going to a nature park only to see name brand advertising every other sequoia and rock formation.

Dolly back, pan down, over the shoulder, etc are terms the director and DP need to know when shooting. It isn't something you want to boggle the actors with when they are 'getting into character'.

The only things I put in a script are CU, FREEZE FRAME, and POV. I'm not a director or cinematographer, and have no business trying to direct the show from paper. A few - very few - cues are cool, but that's it.


POV from Matilda's window as the mystery shadow moves across the lawn. Matilda doesn't notice.

CU photograph of old woman. Haunting. Mesmerizing.

Walter walks toward the hotel. FREEZE FRAME becomes photo. SPY #1 hands the photo to Spy #2.


Like that, kinda. If I can find another way to nudge those shots, I will.

Even if you write and film your own material, and have every shot running through your head as you write, keep in mind your actors and crew still need to read the story in its pure, abstract form. Putting them to work as a camera operator via the page might very well sap their attention from other details. An actor should be reading every character movement, every emotional blip, and every word of dialogue - nothing more.

Once actors have the character absorbed, a glance at the shooting script is certainly okay, but not really necessary. A set designer certainly needs to know where the camera will be, but let them put the story to heart first.


Just a tip.

alex
 
Screenwriting Tip – Verbs

Two issues. Just the mega-basics.​


1. Simple-Present Verbs

In screenwriting, the simple-present verb is used. i.e: she sits, he walks, the car stalls, they eat. This keeps all actions in one tense so there isn’t any confusion as to when it happened.

He opened the door.

Now, it may be obvious from context that this is happening right now, but the verb ‘opened’ is past tense, and could mean another time. Same goes for ING verbs …

He is opening the door.

This becomes blow-by-blow narration, and is nauseating. It should be …

He opens the door.


Sometimes an ING form verb (present-continuous) just works better, but use it sparingly.

Example …

She opens the car door while holding Tommy.


Simple-present verbs also keep IS and ARE out of the script – for the most part. Here is a good example …

A table is set in the room.

That sounds dreadfully static. Try …

A table commands the room.

Now this table has some purpose. More …



INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Small and tidy. A dresser on one wall. Messy bookshelves and an unmade bed.

That as opposed to …


INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Small and tidy. There is a dresser on one wall. There are messy bookshelves and an unmade bed.

You just don’t need the IS, the ARE or the THERE. Lose them whenever possible – like 95% of the time!


ING verbs are not to be confused with gerunds – when an ING verb becomes a noun or an adjective.

George punches the copying machine (noun)

An interesting book (adjective)

Obviously this verb stuff is only for your action text, not dialogue. In dialogue, pretty much anything goes.


Here’s another example of what NOT to do …


INT. APARTMENT - DAY

Ransacked. Kubu is opening the door. Something is making a sound. Kubu looks around, searching for the source. He found it. A cell phone is under the sofa.

3 different verb tenses. Arg! Let’s fix this.

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

Ransacked. Kubu opens the door. A sound. Kubu searches for the source, finds a cell phone under the sofa.

Like that. And, 27 words down to 18! 6 verbs down to 3. 3 IS’s taken out and shot!

Simple things like this help the story move quicker, and doesn’t bog your reader (producer, actor, lighting dude/dudette) down in superfluous dribble.


2. Passive Verbs

Another important issue is passive verbs - when your verb lacks an agent that causes the action.

The door opens. Ming enters.

Fantastic, so who or what opened the door? Ming, or some unseen force? Is the Director supposed to decide? This should be …

Ming opens the door.

Same with ‘The car starts’, ‘The light goes off’. Somebody has to initiate these actions. That somebody is one of the actors - or a ghost, or something - like in "Christine"! No help needed there!

Speaking of no help needed, things like the sun and the wind can handle the job on their own. The sun rises and the wind blows is obviously an acceptable use of the passive verb.


Passive actions like …

A ball rolls in front of the car.

A shoe lands on the table.

The car stalls.

… do not have a known agent, and that’s part of the mystery. We’ll find out soon enough.


Let’s do a few …

As the car drives forward, a building explodes.

Now the building is cool, because we don’t know who or what caused the explosion – yet - but we dang well better know who or what is driving the car.

Mary drives forward. A distant building explodes.

Automatic doors open without an agent. Or maybe by a ghost to add some creep factor, but if it’s the actor, then say so. Don’t make the crew decide on set.


Mary drives. A ball rolls in front of her car. She slams the brakes.

Here we have Mary under complete control of the car, but the ball remains a mystery. We quickly solve the mystery with …

Mary drives. A ball rolls in front of her car. She slams the brakes. Seconds later, a child runs out and grabs the ball.

This way the reader, and the eventual theater audience, finds out the source of the ball right along with Mary.


If you write and produce, this is just one more tool to make production run smooth and efficient. If you’re writing for spec or on assignment, a command of verbs is essential for a polished and professional impression.

This isn’t always the case, of course. Tarantino is famous for grammatical indifference, but he has complete control of the material, and it just seems to work for him. If it works for you as well, then ignore all this nonsense.


a
 
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