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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

My new profession

S

Shawn R

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(1st posted by Dave Edgar at DVXuser and posted here with his permission. Why? Because I thought is was frickin funny.)

If anyone is offended by this, I'm sorry, but not sorry enough that it will bother me if you slam me so I wouldn't bother : )

I call this "My new profession"

Well, after years as a sound mixer/filmmaker, I have decided to make a change. I am going to become a race car driver. The problem is I need a little help. The only car I have is a 1979 Ford Maverick, but I’m sure if I buy a few really cheap accessories I can make it run like a formula one. Do any of you guys know where I can get a motor like a real race car has for less than $100? I am sure B and H has them somewhere but I can’t find them on their website. I am also going to get a RedLettusRock25 brand spoiler, I am assured that this will make my car look and run like a new one. My cousin knew a guy that did this and he is rich now.
I am going to race in all the biggest races, so if you help me now you are getting in on the ground floor. I will remember you when I am standing in that winner’s circle. You and old what’s-his-name (?) that gave me the free tires. Anyway, as I said I am going to race in all the biggest races and I am going to need some crew. I am going to find some mechanics who can’t afford mechanic school yet but who REALLY want to work on a real race car, and I am going to let them fix up my car. After that first race I will be able to give them more than a cool T-shirt I designed with my name on it and cold pizza. Better yet, maybe I can find some new mechanic-school graduates who can’t get a job yet and want to hone their craft a bit. At least they will probably have their own tools I can borrow.
Someone told me I might need insurance for this, but I didn’t budget for that so we’ll get it on the next one.
Do you guys know if the $1.99 fuel boost additive works just as well as the $6 bottle?
So that’s my plan, can any of you guys out there who’ve done this give me any pointers? I can’t afford school right now and I don’t have time to read the 5 million posts on the race car driver board and 800,000 pages of advice already out there on the internet, so can all you veteran race car drivers just please tell me how and help me or something? I’m really committed to this and I’m really good at it, all my friends say so.
So get on board soon and answer my questions, I am in a hurry because I heard that there is a big race in Indianapolis coming up soon and want to enter it. Did I mention I was going to all the biggest races?
I also need some red paint, I hear that all the best race cars are red now, and I want a red one, too.
Also, does anybody know when the DMV is open?
I have to get that little book that will help me study for my driver’s license.
 
ehehehehe
 
That's genius...how the hell someone comes up with that is beyond me..
 
Love it. Scary just how accurate it is and just how ridiculous it sounds in any other industry! Thanks for posting.
 
True. The thing is when technology gets better with lower prices, we have more of this.
 
What's truly scary is the same brain dead thinking is used more and more by clients.

Having wasted two weeks scripting, I turned down a job yesterday where the client wanted a pimped-up Rolls Royce for the price of a run-down Trabant. How do you spell numbnuts?!!
 
Liam Hall said:
What's truly scary is the same brain dead thinking is used more and more by clients.

Having wasted two weeks scripting, I turned down a job yesterday where the client wanted a pimped-up Rolls Royce for the price of a run-down Trabant. How do you spell numbnuts?!!
Click to expand...

hehehehe
 
My personal favorite goes something like this: "what kind of filter do I buy to make my video look like (insert name of current popular film)?"

That's why I stopped contributing to a certain bovine forum; after a while you just can't take it anymore...

Good shooting and best regards,

Leo
 
hahahahaha. very funny
 
Is this story scary because it, in a way, undermines years of training, experience, and [financial] investment by industry professionals? Perhaps. But what I also think is that this type of "ridiculous" behavior is perceived as a threat to some, who have spent most of their life acquiring knowledge in their professed field, and now comes along a newbie that wants to figure it all out and be a "pro" in a few weeks.

Whether you want to admit it or not, every professional probably has a subconscious (or conscious) need to make his job seem more complex, involved, and difficult than it really may be, so that he is still "valued" in his trade. But, to be sure, in this age of widely-accessible information and lower-barriers to entry (in many markets, including cinema), some newbies will certainly achieve faster what took their predecessors decades (even if they seem overly ambitious, and perhaps ridiculous).

I agree, that no matter what market we're in, sometimes quality results mean paying up. I'll be the first person to tell someone that they simply cannot have a new Ferrari for the price of a Ford. But don't be surprised if you find people doing for $100 what took the "old pros" $10,000 to do.

Anyone that has the ambition, smarts, and insanity to be a pro in _________ (fill in the blank), I say go for it, no matter how silly you look in front of others.

:-)
 
Funnily enough, that really fast car? It's not just red coloured. It's Scarlet. The shame is that soooo many people want in to this industry, even if you are good enough, you might have to work for free for a while, and if you can't afford to work for free, then the industry becomes about who is rich enough or connected enough to get in, rather than who is good enough.
 
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