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  • Hey all, just changed over the backend after 15 years I figured time to give it a bit of an update, its probably gonna be a bit weird for most of you and i am sure there is a few bugs to work out but it should kinda work the same as before... hopefully :)

What's wrong with this scene?

don't frame 3 separate people identically in different locals only in close up with similar backgrounds, especially when cutting so quickly between them. There's no way to establish geography in that scene. I think there were some line crosses to exacerbate things further, although it went by too quickly to tell.
 
Problem may also be that the line to one of the girls is inverse to the line to the other two girls.
 
Shooting every one isolated (only they appear in the frame) on dialogue heavy scenes can be very confusing for the scene geography.

If you shoot closer to the line and have the shoulder/face/back of the person being spoken to in the forground of the frame (in at least some of the shots) the viewer is better able to establish who and where people are in a scene. It will also stop you from accidentally crossing the line and framing people on the wrong side of the frame.
 
This is possible to save you just need some who can edit. Its all there. Try telling the story in a paragraph of words first then follow that order.

Three girls are alone at home on a Saturday night bored of watching TV when in comes Blah blah blah ... tell the story.

I thought it was fun don`t give up!

DogDay.
 
Everyone is dead on here, but to me your problem is more basic. Bad Blocking... You need to position your actors better for camera. Also (And this happened in another scene as well) You are JUMPING cutting the hell out of things with what seems to be no purpose. In one scene the guy comes out the front door, and you jump cut in to the yawn. As if you are using an editing hammer on the audience "SEE EVERYONE!? HE'S TIRED!!!!" That will play just fine from the Med Wide you started with.

It almost looks like perhaps you have some poor acting and you are trying to cut around them.

If that's the case, then there's not much you can do regardless. Except replace the talent. At this point I'm guessing that's not possible
Jay
 
Brandon is right. The scene is not properly established for the edit sequence to follow. The girl in what would be the first establishing shot is not who the camera goes to after cutting away from her to show his greeting. Cognitive dissonance. It's probably fixable in editing to better establish the scene visually according to proper flow. There are different ways to skin this cat, even with the little material seen onscreen. It's a matter of cutting and moving clips around to see what smoothes out the flow a bit better. My 2¢.
 
First establish the environment(Wide)... Then get up (close) and personal.

One way if possible is to see girls on sofa (Wide shot) laughing for half second.

Cut to (Close up) man closing door with V.O girls finishing laughing(take audio of them laughing over p@^is). Let him deliver his line before you cut to...

Wide shot girls 'hey babe', who it was meant for- Sofa shot. We get the idea when we hear different voices behind.

It's not an action movie, there are a little too many edits.
 
An over the shoulder on the guy will help establish the location of the people he is talking to. You have to arm your editor with coverage (ie. WS, MS, CU, etc...).
 
- cutting speed & rhythm
- audio out of sync in a few shots
- colour tone - room/skin clash (IMHO)
 
Adding to the mix of gaffs, no scene geography established, too quick on dialog cuts -- eye lines don't follow logically either. Of course one thing leads to another. And there are apparently two identical sofas exacerbating the confusion. A great example of how a potentially humorous (if silly) scene, can be sabotaged by editorial and or directorial responsibilities falling a bit short.

As Walter Murch points out, sometimes it's better to sacrifice the rules, ie edit for emotion first, then technical elegance--but this doesn't seem to be what's going on here, although not knowing what coverage is available, it's hard to suggest fixes -- or who exactly wasn't up to snuff.
 
Luis Ortiz said:
An over the shoulder on the guy will help establish the location of the people he is talking to. You have to arm your editor with coverage (ie. WS, MS, CU, etc...).
Click to expand...

This what I thought right away. A shot at waist level from behind the guy, to at least the the long-haired girl sitting on the couch by herself would have helped.

just my thoughts...

chris
 
ehhh...yeah. A few things need to happen:

Try some sort of establishing wide (as mentioned above), maybe the conversation the girls are having before the guy walks in.

If you do the above, then try to make the eye lines match up properly, right now, between the identical framing and eye lines, I want to go into convulsions. haha.

Maybe also cheat a sofa forward and do a kinda pov/over the soulder of one of the girls, with one of the others in frame, while the guy says a line.

Just some thoughts. Wasn't trying to be negative.
 
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