Who says Germans don't have a sense of humor

[TimothyD]

Oh, here's another good one. Probably followed by more on a similar topic.

When I was a teenager a lot of us had Honda Spree's (1987 or so). A friend of mine had heard that if you connect a tube to a bottle of starter fluid and run it directly into the carb you could make it go much faster. So he does, and it does go faster, quite a bit faster... Anyway, he's clipping along out in the country, probably doing about 50, and all of a sudden BOOM, the engine seizes and he has to ghost ride the thing out into a corn field. When he gets up and dusts himself off, he goes over to take a look at the damage... The spark plug was sticking through the seat, and had almost impaled his ass. Needless to say, that was the end of his days of "modifying" mopeds.

 

[Ramesh Jai]

Ok. My first time on a plane. I am about 8 years old.

45 minutes into the flight I make my way to the bathroom. I open the door and am shocked. There's already a guy in there with a thermal mask over his head (to protect him from the cold). :whistling: In an instant I lower my eyes, say sorry and close the door. I wait patiently for him to finish.:whistling:

5 minutes and I am still waiting. The guy doesn't come out. Now this was a small plane and two other gentlemen join me in the queue. I meekly tell them that there was a guy in there.

10 minutes later the queue has grown to about seven very impatient people. Now I really want to go. Other people too are impatient. Suddenly one of them notices the VACANT sign on the bathroom door. He comes forward and looks at me. There's someone in there, I say. The man pushes the door and it opens.

I see the same man in a thermal mask in the bathroom. This time I continue looking at him. He looks so familiar I think to myself. Oh my God he looks like me. Hold on! It is me! My reflection! Now I remember! My mum had put on a thermal mask over my head while I was busy reading comics.

Yup... my first time on a plane. I couldn't even wee wee after that.:blush:

 

[Adrian Correia]

if I am planning a camping trip - Curt and Jeff are coming to tell stories around the camp fire.

 

[Steven M. Bailey]

if I am planning a camping trip - Curt and Jeff are coming to tell stories around the camp fire.

I'll bring the marshmallows and the graham crackers.:bleh: :biggrin:

 

[Priyesh P.]

I'll bring the marshmallows and the graham crackers.:bleh: :biggrin:

After all of this horror stories it's better to cut the crackers.
I mean, just remember what a simple pretzel did to the POTUS.
And now imagine what something called CRACKER could possibly do...

 

[Steven M. Bailey]

After all of this horror stories it's better to cut the crackers.
I mean, just remember what a simple pretzel did to the POTUS.
And now imagine what something called CRACKER could possibly do...

I googled pretzel and POTUS. How embarrassing. I must live in a cave.

I once followed a car that rear ended a cow. The cute little blond driver laid on the brakes but it wasn't quite enough. The small Honda civic took the legs out from under the bovine and it sat strait down on the hood. From behind, all I saw was the brake lights getting higher then the rear wheels coming off the ground When the cow got up it had left a giant steaming present on the hood as well as the biggest ass print dents I have ever seen. I felt bad at the time for the girl as she was crying her eyes out, and I tried to be consoling as possible.:waaa:

But I laughed all the way home.:biggrin:

 

[Júlio Taubkin]

Germans? Funny guys!

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

...Cracks me up.

 

[CVB]

Monty python rules..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yff5Sp6bN6k

The dead parrot is a classic..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2H6DSoqZz_s

 

[Priyesh P.]

I googled pretzel and POTUS. How embarrassing. I must live in a cave.

You learn something new everyday...
But the cow story is really funny! I try to imagine how the guy from breakdown service must have looked when he saw a car with his back up in the air and a heavy shitload on the front plus a crying blonde...

Germans? Funny guys!

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

...Cracks me up.

Whatever that means, I try to translate it (this is the max I could decipher):
If the nowpiece git and Slotermeyer? Yes! ... Beiherdog the or the flipperwood gersput.

 

[Adrian Correia]

I googled pretzel and POTUS. How embarrassing. I must live in a cave.

I once followed a car that rear ended a cow. The cute little blond driver laid on the brakes but it wasn't quite enough. The small Honda civic took the legs out from under the bovine and it sat strait down on the hood. From behind, all I saw was the brake lights getting higher then the rear wheels coming off the ground When the cow got up it had left a giant steaming present on the hood as well as the biggest ass print dents I have ever seen. I felt bad at the time for the girl as she was crying her eyes out, and I tried to be consoling as possible.:waaa:

But I laughed all the way home.:biggrin:

allright Steve is now offically part of the story crew. That is hilarious!