So I wrote and directed a short film a couple of weeks ago

[Craig W. Bickerstaff]

It's only 2 minutes excluding credits and I'm trying to get some feedback on it, unfortunately It wasn't shot on red and the cinematography isn't exactly inspired so I've decided not to place it in the cinematography thread.
In any case any feedback, even if it's tough feedback would be quite helpful, Thanks for your time.

 

[Clint Lealos]

First, let me say that I have never written and directed anything. I'm a cinematographer, so take this with a grain of salt. I give you props just for making it all happen and ending up with a finished product that came from your brain alone. With that said, I'll give you my honest thoughts...

The script felt like Woody Allen meets Kevin Smith. In good ways and bad. I can see the wit and dry humor in the words, but the actors did not pull it off. Granted that would be a tough scene for most actors. The acting was the most obvious weakness in the film.

You were correct when you said the cinematography was less than inspiring. Obviously, the camera used was less than ideal, but it still could have looked better with some proper lighting and better framing choices. The close ups looked okay (besides the background), but the medium shots felt wrong. I think some of them had the focus on the background instead of the actors? The wide angle lens made it feel very "reality show" at times. My advice is to find a table with more space around it next time. Preferably one with lots of space behind both actors. The street background was distracting and the wall behind the other guy wasn't any better. Back off and use a medium/long lens for the medium shots.

The editing could use some finessing as well. Some of the cuts feel mis timed and/or out of place. I'm not really an editor, but I could sense something was off at times.

On a positive note... I thought the audio was decent.

Good luck Craig, and keep making stuff! Peace.